Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Money Life

Learn how to control your thoughts to change your money future! Find out how your thoughts are strong tools for making change. See how picking your thoughts can change how you think about money and make your money life better. Know that the things you worry about at night might not be real—it's the power of your mind. Get tips to see why it’s important to tell thoughts from facts. 

Follow me on Socials:
Facebook : https://facebook.com/hermoneycoach
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@hermoneycoach

Transcript

Hi friends. Is that money failure or setback keeping you stuck right now? Are you finding it hard to put it behind you? Well, I've been there. So today that's what we're going to dig into. Welcome to Her Money Mindset Show. Thank you so much for joining. I know your time is valuable and I appreciate you tuning in.

I'm Stephanie, Her Money Coach, and I'm here to help you get through money setbacks. Whether it be a divorce, losing a job, or business that didn't work out, you're in the right place.

My journey with money and mindset changes started over 15 years ago after a tough divorce. I had to learn to change my thoughts, to turn my life around, and these skills have helped me through a long career in Fortune 500 companies, the ups and downs of real estate investing, and being a single parent. 

And in 2022, when I lost my franchise business, a lot of money, and even my home, I was so thankful for these mindset skills. They helped me bounce back quickly, and I can't wait to share them with you.

Instead of getting stuck by our setbacks, how can we use them to teach us instead?  So picture this, you're in a beautiful red convertible driving up the mountain roads with the windows down, the wind blowing through your hair, blaring Alicia Keys, girl on fire, feeling invincible and free.

And then you hit a bump in the road.  It jars you several feet, almost into oncoming traffic. The sheer velocity of the car hitting the bump and coming back down on the road leaves it smoking and undriveable. What do you do next?  Do you let this situation tell you that you're stupid and now you're just stuck?

Your inner critic is yelling at you about how much is this going to cost. You are immediately no longer feeling invincible and free. Instead in that moment you now feel scared and angry that someone allowed there to be a bump in the road. You start to blame the road, the road workers, the city, yourself.

But what if in that moment you could stop the swirling? And sure, you're upset for a minute, but then you're able to have a calmer, more productive thoughts that push you to take action sooner, like maybe calling AAA, get off that road.

This story is illustrating how we're going through life, minding our own business, and shit happens. That is life.

Now, it might be a leap in the scenario to see a lesson or gift from the story, but what if down this very road, there was a dangerous semi crass that caused a serious pile up and you missed it because you were thrown off by that bump, you missed the pile up where you could have been very hurt, even killed.

And what if this bump actually helped you and saved you?

So it's the same in our money life. Does your money situation leave you saying things like you're not good enough, or you're not capable or can you see it as just one stop on your journey? In which case you start to see this bump or the step back as a lesson or gift instead of a wall that's stopping you.

 Think about this, past failures like not having enough money to pay the bills or a project that didn't work out can feel really big in our heads. If you keep thinking these past problems define you,

you might miss what's possible in your future.

Try changing how you see things. Imagine you in your future, say 10 years ahead, you're successful, you're stable, no money problems. And from that place, you look at your situation today.

From that place, you can see that this money situation is just a blip, and it didn't actually  hurt you, kill you. It actually taught you. Now I'm not saying it feels good cause it doesn't, but if you can see it from that place in the future, it helps take the emotion out of it.

When you take the emotion out of it, you can decide what you want that failure to mean to you. From this future perspective,

it can seem smaller than it does at the current time. Just doing this small thing can give you the power back to turn your current situation into something helpful. It can teach you to be strong and to keep going. When you believe that setbacks are actually steps to success, you can take charge of your story and take actions to get where you want to go. 

Let's take Oprah Winfrey as an example. I don't know about you, but many of the afternoons after school I spent watching her talk show. Before she was ever a media mogul that we know today, Oprah was fired from her anchor role on TV. She could have let that ruin her. She didn't let that one situation define who she was or what she was worth. Instead, she kept going and she used it as a springboard leading to a career that changed history and changed people's lives.

This mindset shift is your magic wand to start turning difficulties into opportunities and learn and grow. As a matter of fact, a study from Stanford University showed that those with a growth mindset are 14 percent more likely to be resilient in the face of setbacks.  Just another reason to consider shifting your perspective.

Now, don't get me wrong. I know facing challenges head on can be very difficult. As a matter of fact, our brains are wired to kick into survival mode when we encounter stress. We either fight, flight, or freeze when things get tough.

It's part of being human to want to avoid things that make us feel bad and chase things that make us feel happy. So I understand how hard it is to sit with those uncomfortable feelings and we must remember that these feelings don't last forever. Just like winter eventually gives way to spring, the tough times in our lives also change and improve.

When we learn to handle our emotions during tough times, we open the door to more self love and kindness towards ourselves and others.

Our money mistakes don't feel great. But they ultimately build our confidence because we start to see that we are the kind of person who can do hard things. We can bounce back from setbacks. It wasn't fun going through my traumatic divorce 15 plus years ago, but that situation changed who I am for the better.

And the learnings from that painful time made it so much easier and faster for me to bounce back from all the self doubt. When I lost my business for that, I am truly, truly grateful. Maya Angelou once said, I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it. These beautiful words capture the essence of overcoming.

So to illustrate this further, there's a Japanese concept called wabi sabi that teaches us that in the cracks and imperfections of a once broken vace we can see its true beauty. Those cracks show its history and scars so we can really appreciate it so much more.

This philosophy also applies to us as people. None of us are perfect or complete. And that's okay. Understanding and accepting this truth allows us to move forward without being held by fear. Our scars, whether the ones we see on the outside or the invisible ones inside, show that we've lived through challenges and they remind us of our courage and our strength.

These imperfections and experiences shape who we are and make our story unique.

By embracing our flaws and mistakes, we celebrate our journey and what we've been through. It's these very marks that make us special and reflect our humanity.

Have you ever heard that saying, bad things come in threes?

That is a complete myth. Even though it might sometimes feel that way when challenges and difficulties pop up in life and they keep happening one after another, but it's more likely the way we are responding to them, that is really what's impacting us. Instead of letting one problem lead to more, we could try to stop it from snowballing into something bigger.

For example, let's say you experience a significant money loss. Okay, then you go into work and you sulk because you're distracted and then you don't put in the same level of effort and you're not enthusiastic. All of a sudden your work suffers and you get put on a performance improvement plan and you get fired.

Now you're fired and you're dealing with a financial loss and you start gaining weight and stop going to the gym.  Suddenly it feels like bad things are happening one after another. But the reality is challenges occur all the time and they only become interrelated if you let them affect your behavior. The key is to think, okay, the setback occurred. What can I do to decrease the likelihood that something else negative is going to happen in the meantime?

It really comes down to paying attention to how you respond and the actions you take. Managing your reactions can help you handle adversity in ways that are positive and productive, turning those challenges into opportunities.

 Experts in emotional regulation and neuroscience often use visualization exercises to help us tap into more positive emotions.  These positive emotions can help us make better decisions and setbacks.

I'm going to walk you through a very short, abbreviated version, so you can see its power, and if you want to explore this idea more. This isn't just some woo woo kind of hippie thing. Practicing this regularly can help you navigate challenges and less suffering and more peace.  Okay, ready?   📍 So start by closing your eyes. Take a moment to feel the support of your body on the chair,  the chair in your back,  the chair in your seat,  your feet on the ground.  Slowly take a deep breath in and out. 

Take several deep breaths.   📍 And notice your   📍 chest raising and falling with your breath. 

Now imagine a scene where you experience deep unconditional love. This could be   📍 the love you feel for a child, a pet, someone very special to you.  Truly feel this love fill your heart and notice how this changes things in your body. How does your head feel? How does your chest feel?  Is your breathing fast or slow?   📍  📍 

With this feeling of love, picture yourself as a child now.  See that younger version of you in your mind.  Imagine offering the same love to your childhood self  and let that love fill you up.  Centering you and reminding you of the strength and potential that has always been within you.  Okay. So what do you think?

Can you see how generating feelings of self love could really help you in a hard time? 

 If you think these kind of exercises and visualizations might help you, there's lots of information out in the world on this, so maybe something to explore.

Because remember, each step back is a step toward your strength, and these small mindset shifts can turn your failures into your fuel for resilience and growth. And they are not who you are. You are not identified by your failures. They're just situations that we can choose to respond to with anxiety and fear.

Thank you friends. If this episode resonated with you, please share. It's one way to help others in the same boat navigate their money setbacks. And don't forget to visit hermoneycoach.Com and subscribe to my free weekly newsletter for more tips and tricks to manage your money mindset . Until next time.

Remember you have the power to change your financial future and I'm here cheering you on every step of the way.