From Struggle to Success: Build a Winning Money Mindset

In this episode, we talk about what a positive money mindset is, why it's important, and how to get one. A money mindset is how you think and feel about money, affecting your decisions and happiness with your finances. By thinking positively, you can better handle your money, feel more confident, and make smarter choices.

We share tips on how to build a positive mindset, like having realistic yet hopeful thoughts about money and believing that things can work out for the best. It's important to take full responsibility for your money situation, which gives you the power to find solutions and take action.

Thinking "What if it all works out?" encourages us to replace negative thinking with hope and faith. With persistence and small, steady steps, you can make great progress.

Having a positive money mindset can really help improve your decision-making, boost your confidence, and push you to take actions that improve your financial life. Listen to this episode to learn how controlling your thoughts is the first step to transforming your financial future.

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Transcript

Can just thinking better about money really change your money situation? Today, let's answer that question. Welcome to Her Money Mindset Show. Thank you so much for joining. I'm Stephanie, HerMoneyCoach, and I'm here to help you get through money setbacks, whether it be a divorce, losing a job or a business that didn't work out, you're in the right place.

My journey with money and mindset changes started over 15 years ago. After a tough divorce, I had to learn how to change my thoughts so that I could turn my life around. But these skills have helped me throughout a long career in corporate America, through all the ups and downs of real estate investing, being a single parent.

And in 2022, when I lost my franchise business, a lot of money and my home, I was so thankful for these mindset skills that helped me bounce back quickly. And I'm excited to share them with you. Can thinking about money really change your money situation? Let's find out together.

A good money mindset is  a first step. Before  a budget, save and invest, you must first have a good money mindset.



So let's talk about what is a money mindset, why do we need one, and how do we get one? There is a way to have a realistic, but yet still positive thought about your money situation.

Just having the thought that you can handle your money situation will give you so much power and enable you to move forward.

A good money mindset can help you make smarter money choices, feel more confident, and take action. I want you to know, whatever your money situation is right now, that I promise that you can have peace in this situation. 20 percent is about tactics, strategies, and how to 80 percent is about your mindset and how you think. I know this firsthand from many money setbacks through the years, whether it be losing half my assets and income in a divorce 15 years ago to all of the challenges in owning 15 years to a recent business loss that set me back in a big way.

Having these skills to manage my mindset in a positive way was the single most important way I got through and could bounce back quicker. It was a single way that I could stop wallowing and suffering and get a plan and get back on track.

 And this is what I want for you. So here's the plan. Okay. First things first. What is a positive money mindset? Well, it's really just how we think about money, our beliefs and our feelings that are tied to it. Those can be positive or negative.

A good money mindset starts with positive thinking, and I'm not talking fake it till you make it type things.  

Not thoughts like, I am a billionaire even though you're in this current situation, but more like thoughts like I can figure out how to earn more or whatever it might be. 

For me, when I was in the midst of losing my business in 2022 and all the money that I had invested, I kept telling myself two things.  One, "I got this". Two, "I'll figure this out". Now, I'm not trying to tell you I didn't have all the other thoughts too.

That I'm a failure, I'm not going to figure it out, what's going to happen to me. But when I could catch myself having those thoughts, these two thoughts grounded me, "I got this" and "I'll figure this out." I didn't have answers. I didn't really have it all figured out, but I knew that I could. I truly believed those two thoughts because I had evidence from my past where I had figured it out. 

So it starts there. What positive thoughts could you say and believe in the midst of your money setback? Make them believable to yourself. So one of my favorite mentors is Marie Forleo. She wrote a great book called Everything is Figureoutable. I read it years ago and it was so inspiring at the time because ever since childhood, deep in my soul, I always thought I could get through any situation and I could figure it out. 

But when a setback or failure would come, I would lose that I would forget that I can figure everything out. So I wanted to learn how can I remind myself of that? And how can I connect to that? So I want to share with you some of the highlights from her book, because it validated what I already thought.

And fast forward a couple years after reading it. I was questioning that strong held belief that I could get through any situation, and then I remembered these things from that book. So here goes. Be open to possibilities and solutions. Often in Setback we shut down, we freeze, because we're so focused on the problem. But this does not open our mind and our heart to access possible solutions.  Our brain is telling us, yo, this is survival time. It's time to fight, flight, or better yet, freeze.  These are actual chemicals that are flowing through our body. Very strong. So be open to possibilities. Two, have faith. Faith that God has a bigger plan for my life has gotten me through every struggle that I ever had. Now, I'm not preaching God to you, but whatever you believe in, the universe, source, Buddha, whatever it might be, if you can lean into that belief that there's something bigger out there who has your back, it can be so freeing.  You can have your own back too. You can have faith in your own abilities to find solutions. 

And what if it all works out?  These are six words that come from an idea from Mel Robbins. Instead of stewing "what if", "what if I lose it all", "what if I'm homeless", insert the what if ever disaster your brain is offering you, what if instead we thought, "what if it all works out?" That's what faith is to me.

What if it all works out and a third of the time, things actually work out better, a third of the time they work out and about 6%, does something bad actually happen? And guess what? If that is the case, you and I, we can deal with that because in the moment, we don't actually know if something good or something bad is happening.

So here's a quote or story that really resonated with me. It's about having a conversation with God. And I hope if you believe in something else, you could just replace it here. And instead of God, it's something else, source or universe or whatever, because this is very profound and this could help you a lot.

Okay. So we're going to dive in. I asked God, why are you taking me through these troubled waters? He replied, because your enemies can't swim. I asked, why do I always feel like I'm failing and struggling? He answered, because your growth and accomplishments come from facing challenges and overcoming difficulties. Failure is a stepping stone to success. I asked God again, why do I sometimes feel like life is full of pain and helplessness? He responded, because in your weakest moments, I am by your side. I use your pain to shape your character and your helplessness,  to show my power.

 Continuing, I asked, Why do I have to experience disappointment and setbacks? He replied, Because in disappointment you learn to trust, and in setbacks you learn to persevere.

I am with you every step of the way, guiding you towards victory. Finally, I asked, Why do I always feel confused and lost? And he answered, Because you overlook my plan for your life. When you focus on me, I will smooth your path and provide you clear direction. Trust me, everything is in my control.  This is so profound to me.

Again, it doesn't matter if you believe in God or don't believe in God, but being able to see a different perspective in the midst of a challenge will transform how you approach finding a solution. Believing that your current situation is not a road block, but a lesson can empower you to take proactive steps.

This is faith.  Next is ditch the excuses and the blame. Many setbacks are not your doing. Something else or someone else did something and it was not within your control. But to make any kind of progress to get to the other side of your setback, you have to take 100 percent accountability.

Boo! That sucks! But it truly is the only way to take your power back. If you're busy blaming someone else or something else, you are not looking for solutions. You are not likely taking actions. So it's actually in your best interest to take responsibility so that you can move forward.

When I lost my business, I had plenty to blame,  it started with COVID lockdowns during the opening, lots of parents feeling very strongly both ways about masks and no masks. I could blame employees who come and go and barely show up even when they're there.

I could blame the location, the franchise system. The lack of resources on and on and on and believe me blaming felt right. But I had to get out of that quickly because in that I just wallowed and I was creating feelings of anger and when you're coming from a place of feeling angry nothing good happens out of that it does not yield good results.

So I had to start accepting all of this may or may not be true, all of the blaming. But the fact is, if you go all the way back to the beginning, me and only me decided to invest in this business. 

And if it didn't work out,  that was on me because I made that decision. So be accountable. Also, be persistent, consistent effort, even, and especially when you don't want to is key in a setback, we mostly just want to get in bed, roll up in fetal position, put the covers over our head and hide and hope it all goes away.

 No kidding. I had days thinking, can I just sleep through this? Whether you are really curled up figuratively or you're going through the motions of your day, but you aren't really there. Either way, you aren't taking action from that place.

I've been here many times. After my divorce, I was emotionally wrecked for a very long time. Way too long.  I wasn't actually curled up in bed because I had two small children to care for  but I was like a zombie just getting through the days, forcing myself to consistently spend time looking at and figuring out the money situation and how it was going to make it work.

Then you need to take action. Action is progress. There's some personal development gurus that say take massive action and I get that, but when you're in the midst of a setback and you're just surviving, I promise you progress, even a little baby steps will get you to the other side.

Things can seem overwhelming, so breaking down the big things into little manageable things is sometimes the only way to get through it. I hope you find the highlights from Marie's book helpful. I highly encourage you to grab a copy and read it over. Soaking in as much of this kind of information as possible will help you because your mind has this automatic search function, which means that when you ask it a question, your mind automatically begins to search for the answer.

Psychologists refer to this function as embedded presupposition factor or something like that. So for example, Imagine if I were to ask you, why is the sky blue? Do you know what your brain is doing right now? It's searching for the answer to that question. Notice that I did so without telling it to. You didn't try to start searching for the answer.

You didn't have to make yourself do it. In fact, your brain couldn't help but to do it. Literally, you couldn't not do it.  This can also be referred to as the law of sowing and reaping because you reap what you sow. Emerson called it first law or the law of attraction, which means that what you focus on, the thought seeds to continually plant, will grow and bear fruit. One of the best ways to start getting a positive mindset is planting seeds and ideas like from this book so that when your brain does it's automatic searching, it finds these kinds of answers.

So now that we know what positive money mindset is, the second question we ask ourself is, can this really improve a money situation? The answer is yes, it can, and here's why a positive money mindset can have significant benefits in terms of decision making, confidence, and action taking.

The first key is to learn to control your mind.

As humans, we have a prefrontal cortex as part of our brain. That allows us to manage our thoughts, which means we can decide to focus on positive thoughts, and ultimately lead to better money outcomes. When you engage this part of your brain deliberately, you're setting it to work on finding solutions, rather than dwelling on problems.

 A positive money mindset helps you see opportunities over limitations. Cognitive psychology suggests that our beliefs and attitudes can significantly impact how we see and process information, leading to more rational and thoughtful decisions. For example, by focusing on the positive outcome of being debt free, you can motivate yourself to explore and implement strategies that actually get you there.

This might include setting up automatic transfers to savings using a budgeting app, or seeking out advice.

A positive money mindset can also give you confidence in how you handle your money. Studies in positive psychology highlight that the belief in one's ability to succeed can enhance their financial confidence and resilience.

And a positive money mindset is closely tied to motivation,  psychological research indicates that optimism can foster perseverance and drive, which are crucial for taking action. So lastly, what could you do today to move towards a more positive money mindset? First, you just decide. Decide to believe differently. Make a conscious decision. This step is about shifting your perspective from a reactive stance where you feel at the mercy of your circumstance to a proactive one where you see yourself as the architect of your money life.

You're in charge, so decide to be. Next, catch and reframe your negative thoughts. 

Embrace the idea that having more money can increase your choices and abilities to make significant change in your life and the life of your family. Do this reframing by writing down two or three new positive money thoughts that you believe, and then the next step is to repeat, repeat, repeat.

Repeat those thoughts. Repeating is the key to embedding these new thoughts deep into your psyche. Just as negative thoughts were reinforced  over time and repetition, your new beliefs require that same level of commitment. And then look for evidence. Your brain has a remarkable ability to seek evidence that support what it believes.

 It's known as confirmation bias. This can work against us when we hold negative beliefs about our capabilities and our situation, but it can also be a powerful tool to reinforce these new beliefs.

And in effect, transforming our money situation. 

Well, there you have it my friends. We now know what a positive money mindset is, why we need one, and how we're going to go get it.

And I hope you believe that shifting your money mindset is 100 percent in your control, and I know you can do it. If this episode helped you at all, please share it. It's one way to help others in the same boat navigate their money setbacks. And don't forget to visit hermoneycoach. com and subscribe to my free weekly newsletter for more tips and tricks. 

 Until next week, remember you have the power to change your financial future, and I'm here cheering you on every step of the way.