STOP Using Willpower to Fix Your Money Habits (Here’s what really works)

Discover why willpower fails 78% of the time when trying to break bad money habits, and learn the scientifically-proven alternative that's 2-3 times more effective. Based on Dr. Benjamin Hardy's groundbreaking research, this video reveals why your spending urges have no actual power over you and how understanding your brain can transform your financial behavior.

Learn the crucial difference between your lower brain's loud spending demands and your higher brain's quiet wisdom. Understand why environmental changes are more effective than willpower, and discover practical strategies for rewiring your neural pathways around spending. 

Learn why fighting spending impulses makes them stronger and how to create lasting change without relying on depleting willpower. 

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Transcript

  What if everything you've been told about breaking bad money habits is wrong? Dr. Benjamin Hardy, his groundbreaking research shows that relying on willpower is like trying to hold back the ocean with your hands. Not possible. In fact, his studies show that people who rely on willpower alone to stop a bad habit or whatever they're trying to do, 78% are more likely to fail at changing that habit.

Willpower just doesn't work. And here's what Dr. Hardy discovered, that willpower is a finite resource that depletes throughout the day. I think we all know this. We wake up in the morning being like, I'm gonna get to work out. I'm gonna do this. I'm not gonna eat sugar. And then by the end of the day, we haven't worked out.

We're sitting in front of a box of cookies. That's how willpower works. And environmental triggers are two to three times stronger. Then your best intentions, the more you use willpower, the weaker it becomes. It's like a muscle in that way. Trying to use willpower actually makes you focus more on what you're trying to avoid.

It's like telling yourself, don't think about pink elephants. What are you thinking about right now? Exactly here's the reality. The spending urges have absolutely no power over you. None. Zero. They're just thoughts. They're just thoughts in your head. And thoughts can't make you do anything, right? let's think about it. Can a thought physically move your hand to your wallet to get your credit card? No. Can a urge or a thought force you to type in your PayPal password? No. Can a feeling make you click buy now? No. No. Think about it. Have you ever had the urge to buy something but couldn't because you left your wallet?

Somewhere. It just wasn't there. The urge was there, the screaming at full volume, but you couldn't act on it and you were fine. That proves that that desire or urge itself has zero power, but it feels very loud and powerful at the time.

It's like a movie on a projected screen. It might show a tidal wave, but no one in the theater is actually getting wet. Your urges are just mental projections. They feel real and sometimes overwhelming, but they can't actually make you do anything.

I had this friend who lost $30,000 to compulsive shopping, compulsive online shopping. Every time she felt anxious about her relationship or her career, she find herself on luxury fashion sites buying designer bags and designer shoes that she never wore. She just had too many. Her closets were full of them, but it made her feel good at the time.

She told me, I feel like I just cannot stop that. The urge or the desire to get on that website and to buy new shoes just hits me. And before I know it, I spent hundreds of dollars. It's unconscious. But what changed everything for her is she learned to see those big urges or desires just as like weather patterns in her mind.

Just like you can't stop it from raining, but you can choose whether you go out in it or not. Sarah learned she couldn't stop the urges from coming, but she could choose to act on them or not. Once she realized she could just let those thoughts be there, they weren't commands, they weren't her identity, and most importantly, they had no actual power over her actions. Once she realized that she reduced her spending by 85%, she actually paid off a $15,000 credit card debt, and she stopped feeling controlled by her thoughts or her urges.

And if we talk about what's really going on in your brain when you feel the urge to spend, you've got two distinct parts. Of your brain that are having a constant conversation. You've got the lower brain, the survival brain. Some people call it the lizard brain. That part of your brain is like a drama Queen operates on primitive instinct, fight, flight, freeze, and shop.

It thinks everything is an emergency. Bye now, or you miss out. You need to be happy. It's talking in all capital letters, I should say yelling. It lives in a world of impulse and immediate gratification. It doesn't think about savings or long-term goals. It only cares about right now, it's super loud, but it has no actual power to make decisions, and that is crucial. And then you have your higher brain, which is your prefrontal cortex, and this is your brain's why. CEO handles all the executive functions and decision making. It understands delayed gratification. It speaks in calmer tones.

Let's check our budget first. Will this purchase matter in a month? Hmm. We have that same thing at home. This doesn't really align with our goals. It can see the bigger picture it makes all the actual decisions. It's quieter, but completely in control, and it has the power to say yes or no. What's fascinating is your lower brain might feel like it's in charge because it's loud, but just like a toddler having a tantrum in a grocery store might seem like they're running the show.

It's the parent that actually has the power to make the purchase. Imagine this, you're at home, chilling out on your phone, scrolling social media at 11:00 PM and your lower brain is yelling. Oh my gosh, that new iPhone case is perfect. It's a limited edition. Everyone will have one. We'll be left out. Buy it now. Now, now. And your higher brain quietly says We have three foam cases at home and rent is due next week.

The lower brain is creating the noise, the drama, the urgency, but your higher brain holds the actual power to make the decision. It's like having a remote control. A TV might be blasting commercials, but you have the power to change the channel or hit mute. Understanding this dynamic changes everything.

You start to realize that that loud voice is not the boss, that you can acknowledge that the lower brain's concern without obeying them, and you can let your higher brain guide your decisions. You don't need to fight with the noise, just don't give them the remote. So next time you feel that urgency that you really need to buy something, name which part of the brain is talking.

Ah, that's my lower brain panicking. Thank you for trying to help you. Thanks for trying to make me feel better brain. And remember who's in charge. You know, but we're doing something a little different right now. My higher brain's making the decisions and let your CEO brain take the lead. Let's check and see if this aligns with my goals.

And back to Dr. Hardy's research. It shows that changing your environment is two to three times more effective than using willpower. This means unsubscribing from shopping emails, removing stored credit card information, blocking shopping sites during these vulnerable nighttimes, and creating physical distance from temptation.

Your brain rewires itself based on what you repeatedly do. So each time you see an urge or desire to spend,

see it for what it is. It's just a thought. And you're working on building new neuro pathways. You're not fighting those old pathways anymore. You're creating better ones.

No thought, no matter how loud or persistent can make you do anything, your spending habits aren't powered by your urges. They're powered by your belief that these urges must be obeyed, and that's just not true.

So if you're just joining us, this is actually part of a powerful three part series that will completely transform your relationship with money. Make sure to check out part one. Why do I spend money when I don't want to? Where we dive into the psychology and the neuroscience of spending triggers and how they build these strong neuro pathways in our brain.

And then part two is how to break a bad money habit where we look at. Practical strategies for identifying and transforming those spending patterns. And then today we give you a roadmap for financial freedom, not through willpower or strict budgeting, but through understanding how your brain really works.

You can find links to all the videos in the description below. And if you want to shine a light on your current money mindset, go to her money coach.com/quiz and check out our free Money mindset assessment. It will help you see where you're at, where you wanna go, and you can find a plan in between.

And remember, you have the power to change your financial future, and I'm here cheering you on every step of the way.